


I Watched The Sun (I'll never have her)

by OffIntoOrbit



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band), LOONA (Korea Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Butterfly Effect, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22490575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OffIntoOrbit/pseuds/OffIntoOrbit
Summary: Basically Jungeun trying to not destroy everyone else's life and happiness.Tw// Charcters go through alot of character development dealing with their mental health <3
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Im Yeojin, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin, Jo Haseul/Viian Wong | ViVi, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	I Watched The Sun (I'll never have her)

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: 
> 
> This took so much planning ahead but the writing process was fun! So please enjoy!  
> ~@OffIntoOrbit (twitter) 
> 
> Stream so what and the rest of # when it comes out!  
> And preorder if you can!  
> ~@Ochaowo (twitter)

Jungeun's world was black. Her body felt limp, she could not scream for her sister in the room beside hers, or her mom, her breathing felt rapid and nothing but darkness surrounded her. With a sharp pain in her head and gasps searching for air, she was now lying awake. 

She felt pressure on her arm coming from her sister who was now sitting beside her, scared. Although this was a constant thing for the last month, it was hard for her to find the right thing to do, she learned to just wait til her older sister was fully conscious. 

Once Jungeun gained full consciousness she removed her sister's hand off her arm "I'm okay." 

"Jungeun, we need to tell mom." the fifteen year old says but Jungeun just rolls her back towards her and uses her blanket to stop her nose bleed. 

"They're just nightmares, I'll just talk to my therapist. Yeojin, I'm fine." 

"My nose doesn't bleed after a nightmare. We can get you help." Yeojin says tugging at the white blanket. 

"Yeah and then what? They'll lock me up for life just like dad." Jungeun says loudly but not enough so that their mom sleeping down the hall doesnt hear. "Now if you can leave, I have to get ready." 

"Get ready for what? It's a Sunday before school and the only friend you have is our cousin Bora but she's not back from grandma's til later tonight. I mean there's also Heejin but she said she's with her girlfriend Hyunjin all day today." Yeojin says as Jungeun gets up to push her towards the door. 

"Remind me to kick you out of the groupchat." Jungeun closes the door as soon as Yeojin is out of the room. 

Yeojin sighs and decides to leave her sister alone heading towards her mom's room to wake her up. 

Jungeun goes into her restroom to wash up her face. She stares at her face and mentally curses herself for being the way she is. She wanted help but she had her reasons for not wanting to seek it. 

Jungeun heads back to her bed and rolls up her stained blanket, putting it under her bed making a mental note to throw it away once her mom is out of the house. She placed a new blanket she had grabbed from her closet and made her bed. 

Jungeun stares at a notebook sitting on her nightstand. She promised her therapist she'd write in it if anything eventful happened during the week and then read it to her. She grabs the notebook and flips to the first page writing "Eventless" all across the page. 

She then hears her mom's car pulling out of their driveway. Jungeun makes her way back to her bed and grabs the rolled up blanket from underneath. She walks down the stairs and sees her sister in the living room watching tv with their dog by her side. 

"Shes gonna notice blankets are missing." Yeojin says as Jungeun passes behind her. 

"She doesn't even notice when we're missing." Jungeun mumbles. Their mom wasn't home much, Yeojin claimed her mom is a sugar baby and that's how she gets all her money but Jungeun's knows her mom was working hard to pay every bill from their schooling, to their dad's medical bills. 

Jungeun walked outside to their trash can and saw two girls walking down the sidewalk. One had purple hair and was taking photos of her surroundings with a camera and the other was a blonde who walked behind her. Jungeun threw the blanket away and didn't think much of the two girls. 

"Imma go upstairs, call if you need anything." Jungeun announces as she heads into her room.  
___

Sure, change is overwhelming but for Jinsoul, moving to a new neighborhood and a new town can be refreshing. Jinsoul's father had gotten an offer to work at a new law firm, which had caused him to buy a new house closer to his work in a town called Piri. They also got a convenient offer from the girls' aunt to allow Jinsoul and her sister to attend her school in town, a private all girls school. The girls' aunt had made the offer before but it was too far away at that time.

Jinsoul's father was hesitant to move due to the fact he felt guilty selling a house that him and his wife had bought together when they first married, but this new house felt welcoming. The house is a two story, a small rose garden was set at front, now riddled with weeds and wooden corridors all around the house vined with bushes. In the interior, the living room was taken up by white pearly couches, a fireplace, a tv screen and leading to the connected room was a dining table fit for four. The kitchen containing an island table as well and fitting the look of a dream kitchen. Beneath the stairs was a small restroom. Up the wooden stairs would lead to a master bedroom, which belonged to the father, he had turned it more into his study than his place of rest. 

Besides his was Yerim's bedroom. She had gone for a very tumblr aesthetic for her room. Decorations and band posters on every inch of the room and had pinned her pictures prints all across her room as well. On the contrary, her neighboring sister had everything set in place from her study to her closet which was organized by colors. Her school uniform was ready to be worn, hanging between two burgundy jackets. 

Yerim woke up to the smell of pancakes, she quickly grabbed her glasses and got out of bed to follow the scent, "Yerim, go wake up your sister." Her dad says as soon as he hears Yerim, he was dressed in his work clothes, he somehow managed to keep it clean. 

Yerim obeyed and tiptoed towards her sister’s bedroom, placed her small hand on the knob. Gently she opened the door peeking her head in to see a body form still between the sheets. She pushes the door enough for her to go through. She towers above her sound asleep sister’s bed or at least Yerim thought she was asleep. 

Abruptly sitting up, Jinsoul pushes the covers off herself in a lame attempt to scare Yerim.  
Yerim flinches but once she recovers she laughs. “The only thing I got scared of was your messy hair!” 

“I'm going for that Albert Einstein look.” Jinsoul brushes at her hair laughing. 

"Scooch over Einstein." Yerim says as she jumps onto Jinsoul's bed. The blonde moves over allowing her sister to sit beside her. 

"Is dad still asleep?" 

"No, he's downstairs making pancakes, he told me to come wake you up." 

"He's making pancakes and we're not eating them?!" Jinsoul jumps over her sister and hops off the bed, rushing to the stairs. Yerim follows behind giggling. Jinsoul's favorite hobby besides reading is eating.

"Good morning father!" Jinsoul sings as soon as she spots her dad.

"Good morning." He says as he grabs two plates of pancakes and places them on the island table for his two daughters. The two girls take a seat. Their father was a serious man. His affection was subtle. Jinsoul and Yerim got their charms all from their mom their father always says. 

"You should've been a chef." Yerim says as she spreads syrup all over her pair of pancakes. 

"Yerim, don't put too much syrup." He said, pouring himself coffee. 

"Hand me that." Jinsoul grabs the syrup bottle and begins to pour some on her own plate. 

"Dad you're not gonna eat?" Yerim asks as she stuffs her mouth. 

He looks down at his watch.  
"No, I have to head out already. The housekeeper is gonna be here at 1 so when you go out just make sure to leave the door in the back open." The lawyer with a coffee in one hand grabs his car keys and briefcase from the table and walks to each one of his daughters placing a quick kiss on their foreheads. 

"Bye dad." both girls say as he walks out of the kitchen. The girls continue to eat as they watch their dad from the window getting in his black Mercedes. 

"What should we do today?" Yerim asks her sister with food stuffed in her mouth. 

Jinsoul just shrugs in reply. She's too busy enjoying her breakfast to think about how they're gonna spend their last day of summer vacation. 

"We promised dad we would go to mass today." Yerim reminds Jinsoul, their family had always been super religious but Jinsoul and Yerim didn't quite enjoy going to church on weekends. 

"We did, didn't we? I don't wanna take a Lyft just to go to church." Jinsoul groans, putting down her fork. The family of 3 would go every Sunday, but since their dad had gotten a new job and didn't have time. They were to go in the morning if they didn't want to go with him when he got back from work. 

"We need to be out of here by 12 before the lady comes and tells our dad we were home. We can hide in the guest room." Yerim, clearly not wanting to go to church, suggests. 

"What about when she goes in to clean the guest room? What then smart ass?" Jinsoul remarks. 

"Then let's take a Lyft downtown and go shopping." 

"I hate shopping." Jinsoul shakes her head at all of Yerim's bad getaways. Yerim slouches on the stool trying to think of something else.

A light bulb clicks and she begins,  
"How about this, remember when dad was stuck talking to our next door neighbor the first day we got here about who knows what, for hours?" Yerim snaps her fingers as she speaks. 

"Yeah and you want us to go greet her so she can waste our time and we can say we didn't go to church because we were greeting our neighbors? That's crazy cause then he'll make us go with him." 

"No because we're just using this to get away from the housekeeper lady, also I heard dad say she has cats." 

"Yerim you're brilliant! Let's do it"

__

"I'm taking my camera to take a picture of every cat she has." Yerim puts on a purple sweater matching her hair and grabs a little basket they prepared for their neighbor. Jinsoul goes to the back door to make sure she left it unlocked and walks to a counter, reaches for a little bottle on a top shelf which is their medicine cabinet. 

"Yerim, don't forget." Jinsoul hands Yerim the bottle. Which Yerim replies with a groan but drinks down her pills anyways. Soon the girls are out the door. 

With a basket in one hand and her camera in the other, Yerim begins to skip as they walk down the sidewalk to meet with their neighbor. The neighbor's house was a tad smaller than the girls' home. It looked vintage but still very exquisite. 

Yerim is the first one to make it to the peachy color home. She takes a picture of a cat sitting at its porch and then without hesitation, she knocks three times. The door creaks open. 

"Hello, I'd like to introduce myself. I’m Yerim and this is my sister Jinsoul. We moved in a week ago." Yerim smiles brightly at a petite lady who was in her mid 60s. 

"Oh hello, I’m Mrs. Jones. I believe I've had wonderful conversations with your dad before. I was about to go out and run some errands but come inside it's a pleasure to meet you two." Mrs. Jones invited them in as the girls' hoped she would. 

Jinsoul's highlight was being surrounded by cats. After being asked what they do for fun, Mrs. Jones gave her a book of poems she had claimed were her absolute favorite as a young adolescent. In other news, Yerim got a picture of every cat the lady had and got scratched in the face by a pregnant one named Ham. After what was an enjoyable 2 hours of socializing, they excused themselves and promised they'd come back for another tea talk. 

"She was so sweet!" Yerim, with a bandaid on her left cheek, smiles as they walk off Mrs. Jones' property. 

"She really is, the stories she tells are so fascinating, so unbelievable." Jinsoul agrees with the book she had received clutched to her chest. 

"We still have an hour." Yerim stops in her tracks as she spots their housekeeper's car in their driveway. "How about we go say hi to our other neighbors?" 

Before Jinsoul can stop her, Yerim sprints down the sidewalk walk to avoid being caught through a window from above. Jinsoul just walked along and assumed the housekeeper had better things to do than stare out windows. 

Yerim looked at the house as she opened the front gate, it was a very modern and stylish house. The grass was green and freshly cut, trees and bushes were trimmed to perfection. 

"Woah! It looks nicer up close." Yerim says in awe. 

Jinsoul noticed there weren't any cars in their driveway. "I don't think anyone is home." 

Yerim had knocked on the door already as Jinsoul said that and as the door opened a dog ran out of the house. 

"Ahh fuck,” A smaller girl cursed “Jungeun the dog ran out the gate again!" the small girl went inside to scream up the stairs and came back to the door.

"Well bandaid girl, help me run after him!" The girl grabbed Yerim's hand and they both began to run in the direction in which the border collie breed had gone. Jinsoul tried to run right behind them trying not to lose her sister but a girl Jinsoul's age came out the door right then and stopped her. "Its okay, I know where he's going we can just walk." 

Jinsoul glances at the girl, as they walk across the street, she was very pretty. She had blonde hair, wore an off the shoulder crop top that really defined her broad shoulders and toned stomach. She looked like some kind of athlete or supermodel. 

"I'm Jungeun by the way." The shorter girl speaks up snapping Jinsoul out of her thoughts. 

"I'm Jinsoul." Jinsoul replies looking down at the pavement trying not to make eye contact. 

"Our new neighbors right?" Jungeun knew the answer to that but she just wanted to make conversation.

"Yeah." Jinsoul begins to grip on her book tighter than before. 

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna steal it." 

"Huh?" 

Jungeun points at the book "Your book, your holding on to it as if someone might just run off with it." 

Jinsoul felt flustered, all she could get out was "Oh" and an awkward giggle. 

"Look they're right there." Jungeun gestures towards the two smaller girls, now joined by two new girls and two dogs beside them sniffing at each other. The girls had arrived at the local park. 

"He came to say hi to Gureum." A small brunette laughs as the older girls approach them. 

"This is my sister, Jinsoul" Yerim grabs Jinsoul's hand pulling her towards the girls. 

"Woah you're so pretty." The smaller girl tippy toes to get a closer look at Jinsoul's face details. 

"You're a blonde like me!" A blonde haired girl sporting a cute mint colored flowery dress chirps up.

"Stop creeping her out!" A girl dressed in all black playfully smacks the previous girl's arm. 

Jinsoul turns to look behind her as the younger girls continue to talk and notices Jungeun now sitting under a tree watching the dogs play. Jinsoul is hesitant at first, but decides she'd rather make friends with someone her age.

"What's his name?" Jinsoul manages to ask as she sits besides Jungeun setting her book on her opposite side. 

"Hermes." Jungeun says not taking her eyes off the dogs. 

Jinsoul looks over at the girl "Like the Greek god of wealth, luck, and travel?" 

"No, like the luxury brand." Jungeun turns to look at Jinsoul but the embarrassed Jinsoul looks down at her crossed feet and begins to pick at the ground. 

"I'm kidding, yes the most mischievous gods of all Greek mythology." Jungeun smiles for the first time at the girl but Jinsoul doesn't notice. 

Jinsoul now turns her attention to the four girls across from them sitting in a circle, "Is she your sister?" 

Jungeun turns to look in the same direction "The little brunette? Yep, she's my only sister. Is the purple haired girl your little you?" 

"Yeah, a bit. She's less-" 

"Shy." Jungeun finishes for her. 

"I was gonna say studious but that too." Jinsoul blushes. 

"So how smart are you really?" 

"I wouldn't really classify myself as smart but more of a knowledgeable person." Jinsoul plays with the rips of her jeans, still avoiding eye contact as much as she possibly can. To be honest, Jungeun intimidated her at first, but Jungeun turned out to be such a good listener, which made Jinsoul comfortable enough to talk to her, without looking at her of course. 

"Sounds about smart to me." Jungeun giggled, which sent shivers down Jinsoul's body. She had no idea why she was feeling the way she did. “So tell me a little more about yourself. I don't bite.”

“Umm. What do you want to know?” 

“I don't know, like what's your favorite color, your type of music, why did you move, is the earth flat?”

“I like the color blue, I listen to classical music and we moved because my dad got a new job here and the earth is definitely not flat.” Jinsoul laughs at the last part. 

“Is that all I get?” Jungeun pushes at the girl to tell her more, she felt fond of Jinsoul, a sort of connection she usually doesn't feel towards strangers so often. 

“Well for the last 15 years, it has just been my dad, Yerim and I. My mom had died giving birth to Yerim, something we don't talk about too often or at all even. After so many years, my dad had decided we’d make a change and he accepted a job offer in which he was guaranteed to make the double he was making then, he wants us both have a bright future and getting us into the right colleges is his ultimate goal, actually his current goal is to get us to start going to church. My mom's sister is letting us go to her school basically for free, cause I know they don't offer scholarships there. I googled it. I just can't wait to graduate and go to college and become a psychologist.” Jinsoul sighs as she ends her rant. 

"Wow. That's a lot." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pile all that on you." Jinsoul bites her lip. 

"No, no, I asked. You're more interesting than I expected and I underestimated your shyness." Jungeun looks at Jinsoul who is now looking at her clearly blushing. 

Jungeun leaned towards Jinsoul, getting close, Jinsoul froze in place. Jungeun had just reached to grab Jinsoul's book, placing it on her lap, "Read me something." 

Jinsoul felt so flustered but she does her best to ignore how she was feeling. "I can read you a poem." 

"Okay then, read me a poem." Jungeun hugs her knees, using her hand to rest her head looking at Jinsoul as she nervously turns the book to a random page. 

"There's a poem by Emily Dickinson!" Jinsoul smiles but then bites her lip regretting letting Jungeun listen to her geek out. 

"You're adorable." Jungeun giggles, ‘That goddamn giggle’ Jinsoul thinks to herself. "Read me that one." 

"Okay umm,, wild nights, wild nights- where I with thee- wild nights shall be our luxury-" Jinsoul gets interrupted by a small bundle of petals falling right above the paperback book.

"I think the tree likes the poem so far. " Jungeun laughs. 

Jinsoul picks up the little flower and looks up, "We're under a cherry blossom tree, they’re blooming time is over unfortunately, and this tree looks very dried out." 

"A cherry blossom tree expert, how nice." Jungeun teases.

Jinsoul felt her face heat up as she placed the remaining cherry blossom petal in the book and closed it. 

"Story time over?" Jungeun made a fake sigh and leaned back against the identified cherry blossom tree. 

"You've learned quite a lot about me, maybe I should learn something about you?" 

Jungeun lifted an eyebrow, "Well what you want to know?" 

"Do you by chance play any sports?" 

"What gave it away?" 

Jinsoul bit her lip, mentally formating what she was about to say, "You have an athletic body" 

"Well I don't play much sports but I do swim!" Jungeun smiles proudly.

Before Jinsoul can reply, Yerim's camera flash interrupts the girls, "You both look very picturesque." 

"She should name that photo 'two blonde chicks and a tree' don't you think Hyejoo?" Yeojin says to Hyejoo as they view the photo.

"Sounds like a porno." Hyejoo laughs. 

Jinsoul looks down at her phone and looks up at Yerim, "Dad's calling" 

Jinsoul gets up, leaving Jungeun sitting alone now. 

"Let me see the photo." Jungeun picks herself off the ground and walks to the girls. Yerim turns the camera screen facing her but Jungeun's vision goes blurry. 

"Are you okay?" Yeojin grabs her arm in support to hold up her sister. 

"Yeah I think I just got up too quickly." Jungeun retaliates. She sees Jinsoul's face filled with worry when she walks back to them. 

"You sure you're okay?" Jinsoul asks, Jungeun just nods in reassurance. 

"Umm. Our dad said he's coming home early so we should probably go home." Jinsoul informs. 

"Awe. Boo." Yeojin comments trying to forget her sister was about to fall unconscious right in front of her friends. 

"Chae and I actually need to get going too,we need to finish our summer project." Hyejoo  
remembers. 

"Ew, I forgot. I need to text Gahyeon to see if she did ours." Yeojin didn't forget she just refused to help and told Gahyeon she wont call her 'gayeon' for the rest of highschool if she gave her credit for the project. 

"It's a TWO person project" Chae emphasizes as the two 9th graders begin to walk away with Hyejoo's dog following besides them. 

"Whatever. See you at school Marceline and Princess Bubblegum!" Yeojin screams at the two who just laugh and wave back. One of the only things Yeojin is probably good at is coming up with nicknames. 

"That's who they reminded me of." Yerim says as the four of them begin to walk in the opposite direction. 

"Hermes, come on." Jungeun calls over her dog and the four girls made their way home. 

Yerim and Yeojin cracked jokes while they walked in front of the two older girls who had been back to being quiet. 

"So I guess I'll see you around?" Jungeun opens the gate to her house, letting her dog in first. 

"Yeah." Jinsoul mentally slaps herself wishing she could've said more than just 'yeah'. 

“Bye bye!” Yerim cheers trying to catch up to her sister who was already making her way down their pathway.

"Bye Yerim! Bye Yerim's hot sister!" Yeojin yells. 

Jungeun had headed into her room after the encounter. Her group chat of friends were spamming her with messages but she ignored them. She grabs the notebook she was told by her therapist to write her feelings down and begins to write every single detail of the day so she wouldn't forget. 

Once inside their house Yerim begins to talk about how excited she is now knowing that she has someone to hang out with during school tomorrow. 

That's when Jinsoul realized that Jungeun attends her aunt's private school.

**Author's Note:**

> Support Loona's comeback February 4th!


End file.
